Monday, December 31, 2007

Today is Monday - New Year's Eve

It is New Year's Eve and I am alone. I am finishing off a bottle of Chianti. I have not written for some time as work has been much too demanding and far too draining. I have not been with a woman for about 4 months. I imagine myself as a flower, quietly awaiting for the bumble bees to come and drink from my stamen. I have eaten far too many bumble bee wings, and now the hive is aware and is not sending drones my way. I have changed my hair and have updated my ink, even if the 'best by' date is far off, rancid meat will always warn the customer.
I need to change.
My life is over if I do not at least attempt to make it meaningful. I think of Sofia often, but she is gone. I think of my daughter, but she is unreachable. All I have is work and the money that it brings me, and I am not sure that is enough. I can probably purchase a whore, but I don't like the way they smell, and you can't kiss them. I can probably buy me a Russian bride, but they have bad teeth. I have thought of online dating, but those people are pathetic. I think that I need to fix whatever is wrong with me and see if I can't lure the bees back.

Xioba